From Vancouver to Mumbai, via Malawi
The latest online meeting of IDC’s Deacons’ Wives network took place on November 22nd 2025.
A virtual trip around the world to get to know each other, build relationships, share experiences… and laugh together, we whose husbands are deacons! This was the proposal made by the International Diaconate Center to the wives of deacons, who were invited to meet virtually on Saturday, November 22.
About ten wives were present: Jane, Helen, Ligia, Danielle, Evelyn, Martha, and Marie. Was it the opening prayer written by a wife, that spontaneously fostered this atmosphere of great trust and friendship? Only God knows !
After a brief personal introduction by each participant, Marie presented the results of the consultation previously sent to the wives. This questionnaire was intended to be an initial approach to our experiences in our joys and difficulties as wives of deacons.
Indeed, whether in Canada, India, England, Malawi or France, our experiences share many common traits. Among the recurring characteristics, we mentioned our situation as wives who are sometimes invisible, sometimes unwanted by priests but also by parishioners who do not welcome the presence of a deacon, sometimes for cultural reasons but also out of ignorance of this ministry. This is the case in cities such as Vancouver, where very different cultures mix. However, without wanting to put themselves forward, wives must not remain in the background, otherwise where would God meet them if they are avoiding themselves?
The hottest topic of discussion was time management. Always with kind insight and a great deal of humor, we all recognized that our role in preserving a good balance between marriage and the ministry, making us like the “pebble in the shoe” was not comfortable, but that it was essential. So essential that we are planning to meet at the end of May to discuss the theme of “the power of the veto / the constructive NO” to help our husbands learn how to refuse commitments that are not a priority in relation to the ministry of deacon. Isn’t the deacon the one who makes room for others so that others, too, can enter into service ?
Indeed our next meeting promises to be lively and fruitful. Thank you all for participating, and thank you to Kilian for his IT expertise.
Marie Maincent, from France
Wives representative within the IDC Board.