Echoes from Mumbai deacons’ wives
On 22-Nov-25, the IDC Deacons wives network had an online meeting. Here in Mumbai, I was able to give a summary of our encounter, sharing it separately with the wives of the Deacons and I was asked by Fr. Gilbert De’Lima to share this later with the Deacons.
At the meeting of the wives only, most of them agreed that it has been quite a challenge and often even a strain managing the home affairs alone without the support of their husbands, who are Deacons.
I would like to start by saying that in the Indian context, the relationship between husband and wife is to be viewed from a patriarchal background. Many wives come from a background where they have been brought up seeing the women being completely submissive to their husbands and often suffer quietly, handling matters at home alone in the absence of their husbands. There are some Deacons who work in the Parish every day of the week, even though their ministry is supposed to be a weekend ministry. To make matters worse, if the Deacon is serving in a Parish far away from his home, the wife does not see him for many days of the week. This has led to wives having health and emotional problems. We have in our Archdiocese some Deacons who do not want their wives to meet with the other Deacons’ wives. In our meeting of wives only, I encouraged the wives to share their feelings and their struggles with their husbands without being overbearing.
A small percentage of the Deacons have reassured their wives that their priority will always be the home, and so when they are at home, they are very attentive to the needs of their wives and families.
When I shared with the Deacons that universally many wives of Deacons felt that they had no voice, and some wives even felt they were invisible, the Deacons listened attentively but did not react. At the end, Fr. Gilbert encouraged the Deacons to involve their wives in their ministry in the Parish and to take them along for the meetings in the parish, like my husband and I have been doing over the years.
To conclude, I think that we have a long way to go and that it is a work-in-progress for the Deacons and their wives.
I hope this input will bring light to some of the struggles of the wives of Deacons, supporting them. Hopefully it will help in giving us a voice in the IDC.
May God Bless us and our deacon husbands,
Warm Regards to all.
Ligia da Fonseca, from Mumbai, India